Love Lost
by Chanel N
Summary: Thane is critically injured and may not survive. While waiting to see if he'll recover, Shepard realizes how much he means to her. But it may be too late. Minor spoiler if you haven't played LotSB.


_Shepard helped Jacob and Thane to their feet. Thane was pinned under a large metal object that broke off of one of the walls around them but he didn't appear to be in too much pain. She thought she saw him moving a bit awkward when he got to his feet, but she was sure he'd be alright. They did just get pimp-slapped by a Human-Reaper, so she was sure they all had their fair share of scrapes and bruises._

_They need to leave, fast. She heard Joker panicking over her headset, she assured him that she was fine and they would head to the Normandy now. Then the swarm came. There were thousands of those bugs coming towards them in a last ditch effort by the Collectors. "Move!" She shouted to her team. They had come too far to be taken out now._

_They ran as fast as they could to the ship. Shepard turned and fired at incoming enemies and ushered her team ahead. She could really tell now that something was wrong with Thane as he was clutching his side as he ran. "Maybe he broke a rib or something," she thought. She would have Chakwas check him out later. A bullet whizzed by her helmet and brought back her focus. She ran out of bullets and contemplated throwing her gun at her pursuers but turned around in time to see Jacob and Thane safely on the Normandy. "Oh good, they made it. Oh crap, the bridge is gone!" She picked up her speed, there was no other option. With all the power she could muster, Shepard jumped the large gap between the base and the ship. She barely made it, but Jacob helped her up onto the ship beside Joker. The three of them rushed inside and Joker took his place in the pilots' seat and pulled the Normandy out of the blast zone like the pro he was. _

_It was then that Shepard noticed that Thane wasn't up there with them. She turned to Jacob, "Where did Thane go?" Jacob gave Shepard a look that concerned her. She removed her helmet and asked the Operative again, a bit more worried than before._

"_Comman- Shepard, something's happened. Krios was impaled by something inside the base but I don't have many details, go talk to the doc, she and Mordin are treating him in the med-bay." She ran to the elevator not bothering to respond to her crew, she could apologize later, right now she had other concerns. Inside the elevator, which was moving excruciatingly slow, she kept assuming the worst. By the time she would get to the med-bay, he would be… No, he was in good hands he has to be alright. When the doors finally opened she turned toward the med-bay and Miranda was standing outside._

"_Shepard wait, you can't go in there."_

_Shepard looked at the woman like she had just spoken in a totally different language. "The hell I can't! Move out of the way Lawson, that's an order."_

_Miranda didn't budge. "Shepard the doctors told me not to let anyone through, including you. Thane was impaled by a large metal spike and it looks like one of his lungs was pierced, he also has some sort of infection. It doesn't look good, but please Shepard go try and relax in your quarters. I promise you I'll have the doctor notify you immediately if anything changes._

Shepard repeated the events in her head for the umpteenth time. She had been waiting for any kind of news for several days or hell maybe it had been several weeks. Her latest update was maybe seven days before. Dr. Chakwas said that they cleared up his infection but his lungs were in very bad shape and he would need surgery immediately. The doctor kept mentioning that it was very dangerous and that it was likely that Thane may not live through it.

Shepard missed him, she needed him with her now. Without him, she felt incomplete. She had always felt that she and Thane were connected in some way, like she could feel whatever he felt even when they were apart, it was odd but it made her feel good. Like they weren't just…what exactly were they doing? Dating? It seemed like more than that, like they were one entity. Maybe she was just imagining that, but right now though, she felt nothing. She just felt completely empty and alone. '_What if he's dead?' _she thought. She couldn't stand it anymore. She decided that she would pull herself out of this rather depressing state and go to the med-bay, she would pace in front of the door for days if she had to. She just needed to see him.

When she stood to walk to the bathroom her eyes drifted to the data pad that she buried under several papers and folders. It was something that she had been thinking about for a long time. She downloaded several of her squads personal dossiers from the Shadow Broker's base but this one in particular had been on her mind since she found it.

It was a letter to her from Thane. Apparently after he died this would be delivered to her but she found it a little too early. She told Kasumi about it and she had been adamant about how Shepard should "absolutely, under no circumstances read that letter" so she didn't. But right now, she felt compelled and she couldn't resist so she sat down and read his letter. _It couldn't be that bad, right? _

_Siha, _

_I write this with a heavy hand, knowing that you will read this letter when I am no longer able to share my thoughts. I am dying, Siha. Perhaps because of the differences between our species, I can hope that timewill treat you with kindness and dim the hurt of my passing to faded recollections that a drell would forever remember with perfect clarity._

_Selfishly, however, I could not leave this world without leaving a piece of me behind that would never fade._

_I once accepted my fate. Nothing remained but a shell destined to die. I only had to choose the when and how of my passing. I had refused to be confined to a bed, gasping horribly as my life beeped away to machinery I had no use for. I thought of my Irikah, broken, bloodied, and betrayed by my absence. Of Kolyat, small and afraid, bravely pushing at his eyes to stem the flow of tears I had entrusted him to cry… for both our sakes._

_The expectations to move swiftly to my end vanished upon uniting with your cause. You awoke me, Shepard. My heart quickened its sluggish beat if only to remain at your side and protect you with everything that I am. I was content to simply watch, take the time left given and praise all I know for allowing me to walk my final days with hope and certainty that I am worthy of more than my cold isolation, solely because you believed._

_I love you. If all else whispers back into the tide, know this for fact. By grace givenme by the Goddess Arashu, I bid her divine protection to you, my warrior-angel, my Siha, to succeed in your destiny. To light your path through the coming darkness. To give you hope, when all seems lost._

_I will await you across the sea._

_Thane_

Shepard could barely read the last few lines of his letter. Warm tears flew down her face and she started to shake. He couldn't die. She wouldn't let it happen. She loved him and he loved her. He poured his heart out to her in this letter and she'd be damned if she didn't do the same. She dropped the data pad and went to the bathroom to wash her face, she looked a little scary with make-up all smeared on her face. As she cleaned her face, she thought for a long while and came up with this crazy idea. She decided that if he was alive and at least relatively okay, she would-

She stopped in mid thought. When she left her bathroom she saw him standing with his back to her, he appeared to be holding something. He turned to her with that small, amazing smile on his face, she felt like she hadn't seen it in ages. His jacket was on the back of her chair and she could see a large bandage wrapped around some of his chest. Besides that, he looked amazing, much to her relief.

"Shepard, while I am very pleased to see you, I have to wonder how you acquired- What's the matter, Siha?" His smile turned into a frown and he walked to her, setting his letter down. She didn't notice it, but she had started crying again. "I'm fine now. The damages to my lungs were rectified by a transplant. I never wanted one, but when she told me how hard our time apart was for you and that this has actually increased my life expectancy, I became grateful." She thought his voice sounded different, it seemed clearer, but that might have been because she hadn't heard it in God knows how long.

"I missed you so much, Thane. I really don't know what I'd do without you, and I've actually been thinking about that for a while. About us…and our future." She paused for a long moment, she wasn't really an expert at expressing the way she felt but she would try. "Thane, our time apart really made me think about… well I mean we've been together for… wow this is hard." She scratched her head and wondered how people did this stuff, it was so difficult!

He saw how much trouble she was having and cupped her face in his hands and gave her a small kiss on the lips. They stared deeply into each other's eyes for a long moment before Shepard blurted out, "Marry me."

He looked stunned. His eyes got so wide it was almost comical. "What…What did you say?"

She was glad he asked, she kind of liked saying it. "I love you Thane Krios. And I want you to marry me. I want to be with you for as long as I possibly can and I want to live the rest of my life hearing random strangers that need my help yelling "Hey, Shepard-Krios!" I think it has a nice ring to it." They both laughed and he accepted. They curled up on her bed and talked for a while until they finally fell asleep, dreaming about their future together.

**A/N: Sweetness! One more fic down and about fifty billion to go. I swear, Thane better not die in ME3, his letter to Shepard almost made me tear up… almost. If he does die then I'll…write an angry letter or something, but man that would suck! Lemme know what ya think, thanks for reading! Peace, C.**


End file.
